


Squirrels Are A Croc's Best Friend

by Dansevise (SamoShampioni)



Category: Bandom
Genre: 1977, AU, Alternate Universe, Gen, Squirrels, TOTP, contempt, crocodiles - Freeform, top of the pops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-07 03:11:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamoShampioni/pseuds/Dansevise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silly AU fanfiction I wrote about the band Contempt. Contempt were a short lived band who performed on Top of the Pops in 1977.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Squirrels Are A Croc's Best Friend

The world of Basiltene was a beautiful planet, despite the fighting there that had been going on for many years between the two dominant species of the planet, the squirrels and the crocodiles. There had already been many years of war between the grey squirrels and the red squirrels when the two groups who had been bitter enemies for years decided to team up against the other species of the world, the Crocodiles. And so, as soon as one war was over, another started. And that's how it was on Basiltene, when one fight was over, another began. Battles went on and on and no one seemed to be winning anything. It was endless, a bitter stalemate with no end in sight. And so the new king of the Squirrels, King Bushtail, decided that the best way to deal with the neverending fighting between the crocodiles and the squirrels was to seperate them. The squirrels lived on one half of the world, Nutopia, the land of nuts and trees, and the crocodiles lived on the other half of the world, in Crocdonia, the land of rivers and swamps. There was a place in between the two lands, called Misty Forest, and only a few squirrels lived there, because it was cheaper to live in Misty Forest than it was in Nutopia. The crocodiles kept away from Misty Forest for the most part, but occasionally the two groups would cross; and there was always trouble when squirrels and crocodiles met.  
So let's begin our story in Misty Forest with the four squirrels and the one crocodile who end up making a big difference to the world...  
It begins with the four squirrels sitting on a branch on their tree in the center of Misty Forest. There was a blue squirrel holding a green guitar, a red squirrel with a huge bushy tail, a white squirrel wearing a green hat with a red feather in it, and a grey squirrel with orange coloured ears. Their names are Nick Pallett, Robin Langridge, Chris Jarrett and Stuart Skinner. Today they were trying to form a band so that they could move up in Squirrel Society and move into Nutopia.  
"I tell ya," Robin said, "When we're a famous band we'll finally be able to move outta this dump here in Misty Forest and move over to Nutopia!"  
"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, eh?" Chris said, "We don't even have a name for our band yet."  
"So, let's make one now," Robin replied, "What will our band be called?"  
"How about... Coconut?" Stuart asked.  
"No, that's a silly name," Chris said, "We need a more serious name."  
"I've got it," Nick said, "How about Contempt?"  
"Hmmm... I like that," Chris said, "In fact, it's perfect, Contempt it is!"  
"We need a singer," Robin said, "I know we're all great with instruments and stuff, but we need a singer too."  
It was then that they heard the voice singing, in the distance.  
 _"Money, money makes the world go round, money is a girl's best friend... money, money when the chips are down, money is a girl's best friend..."_  
"Yes, just what we were looking for," Stuart said, "What a lucky coincidence!"  
"That guy seems a little obsessed with money though..." Nick said.  
“Well, that doesn’t matter!” Robin snapped back, “Because when we’re a famous band we’ll have loads of money…”  
“Well then,” Chris smiled, “What are we waiting for, someone go down there and talk to him! Quickly, before he goes!”  
“No wait, the sound is getting closer,” Stuart said, “I think he might come to us!”  
“Excellent!” Chris said, “We’ll have our band together before we know it! Contempt, here we come!”  
The squirrels jumped through the trees, getting ever closer to the mysterious voice. They were so exited, they had to have him in the band. They stopped when they reached the maple tree.  
The four squirrels looked down from their branch, and saw, walking beneath them, oblivious to the squirrels’ presence, was a young crocodile. The four squirrels looked at each other uneasily.  
“He’s a croc!” Chris whispered, “What the hell were you thinking?”  
“Well how was I supposed to know that?” Robin said.  
"Well, we're in Misty Forest," Nick said, "I guess we had to be prepared to come across a croc eventually. It was going to happen some day."  
"Oh no!" Robin yelled as he fell off the branch and into the path of the crocodile.  
"Hmm?" the crocodile said as he turned to look at the squirrel curled up into a ball in front of him.  
"Please don't eat me," came the meek reply.  
"Nonsense my dear friend!" the green crocodile said, "I'll have you know I'm a very well-mannered crocodile."  
It didn't seem right. Years of squirrel government propaganda had painted crocodiles as evil creatures, but were they really? The crocodile helped Robin up.  
"The name's Howard," the crocodile said, "Howard Paul."  
"H...hello Howard," Robin said, as the other three squirrels climbed down from their branches to see the crocodile.  
"We heard you singing," Nick said, "You were very good."  
"Was I?" Howard said, "Why thank you."  
"Should we still ask him to join us?" Nick asked.  
"What? A crocodile?" Stuart said, "In a squirrel band? Don't be absurd!"  
"It's not 'absurd'," said Nick, "I'm looking to the future, not the past!"  
"I think that'd be a great idea," Robin said.  
"You know what," Howard said, "So do I. I'd love to join your band!"  
"Well," said Nick, "The world better watch out cos here comes Contempt!"  
"I don't know... I'm not sure where we go from here," Robin said, "What direction are we going to take Contempt in?"  
"I could maybe get us a space on Top of the Pops," Howard said, "That is, if King Polycroc will let us."  
"Top of the Pops?" Stuart said, "Isn't that some croc show?"  
"A very popular 'croc show' it is too!" Howard smiled, "Once I get us on there we'll be the talk of the town!"  
"Yeah," Robin said, "Hopefully for the right reasons..."  
\---  
"Hello everyone, it's me, your host, Top-o-Croc!" said a yellow Crocodile who came running out with a microphone, "And welcome to Top of the Pops! Now let's get started, why don't we? For our first act we have the band Contempt with their song, 'Money is a girls' best friend!"  
Contempt walked out onto the stage. They were the first act to perform of the night, and didn't know how the crocodile audience would respond to an act with squirrels in it.  
But the crocodiles loved it. The four squirrels were surprised at the applause they received. They hadn't realised that the crocodiles were just as sick of all the fighting as they were. Backstage, the host of the show went to see Contempt, along with the king of Crocdonia, King Polycroc.  
"Excellent!" Top-o-Croc said, jumping around, "Brilliant!"  
"It's great!" said King Polycroc, "I don't know how you guys came up with this stuff!"  
Contempt were overjoyed at their new fanbase. Yeah, they were squirrels, but the crocodiles didn't care. They realised that Contempt had started to bridge the gap between the crocodiles and squirrels of the world. And a very good job they had done of that too. 1977 was shaping up to be a good year, a year of change for the world.  
The End.


End file.
